A family attorney who was involved in numerous cases in which one party exhibits an egocentric personality and divorce narcissists with the narcissist are difficult and requires strategy and consistency as well as setting the right guidelines and boundaries.
Divorce, separation and the ending of any significant and intimate relationship could be a time of immense grief, sadness, devastation and overwhelming.
We’re aware that life-altering event that could cause people to experience profound depression and anxiety. It can hindering their ability to work and raise children.
The goal for this post is to bring your attention and increase your awareness of some of the issues you might face in negotiating the divorce settlement with a partner who is a narcissist.
If you’re looking at this post, you may be uncertain or worried about how to deal with your ex-partner’s narcissism. If you’ve consulted an attorney or mediator or counsellor they might suggest that you Divorce Settlement quickly settle or compromise, and your ex’s narcissist will leave and let you follow the same advice.
While this might be good advice for negotiating with a reasonable and fair ex-partner, unfortunately, this is not always the case when in the process of negotiating lawyers who deal with narcissists with someone who is a narcissist.
Here are 5 things to consider when negotiating an agreement to divorce with an ex-partner who is a manipulative and narcissistic.
Go Slow.
It’s very tempting to speed through split and divorce settlement. You might be concerned about fighting with your ex-spouse’s egocentric partner or worried that they’ll make your life difficult for you or perhaps you are worried that they could cause your family, child custody, or your colleagues against you. I’m sure, I’ve witnessed and heard your concerns, fears and worries. I’m sure these are the issues which keep you awake in the night, and because of this, you’d like to be able to relax quickly and close this section that you’ve lived through.
This is exactly what your ex-wife who is narcissistic is likely to want and will expect that you do. They are aware that if you act quickly and make decisions without thinking of the long-term implications of your choices and they’ve gained. They have effectively scared you to submit.
Professionally, I’ve seen many people who are good and give up too soon and receive the wrong treatment due to fear, or because they didn’t want to be a source of trouble, and simply wanted to get on with their lives.
Keep it up.
The majority of narcissists are prone to a sense of superiority and entitlement. They can be manipulative, looking for any hint uncertainty or vulnerability from them.
If they detect a semblance of’regret’ or ‘doubt or uncertainty, the narcissist is prepared to attack and immediately make you a target. They will focus on your vulnerability to emotional abuse and expose your inconsistent messages.
It is entirely understandable from the standpoint of a rational and sensible person to be unsure, have regrets for a moment and perhaps a desire to reconcile (if you could only get your ex to accept your position and change their mindand be a better person – which they don’t).
The narcissist doesn’t understand or appreciate this in their eyes, it is your weakness, your emotional imbalance, and they frequently take advantage of it to generate a feeling of guilt and dependency.
Find ways to think creatively.
We are often instructed to follow the easy way – to simply “split the gap” and end the day. But dividing the difference, or “meeting halfway” isn’t the way to success as it doesn’t meet your desires, needs or needs.
With a surprise to sweeten the deal. Moreover, because you are aware that your ex-loved one is adamant to win and loves long drives, you will get what you need.
Say Less.
This is a very simple idea however it is frequently hard to understand. It is often tempting to get involved in lengthy emotional emails, long drawn-out texts, or even phone calls with a self-centered ex-partner.
It is likely that this is the way you’ve always communicated in your relationship. But now that you’re divorced, it’s time to change these habits and try something new.
Take a look at the children.
Sad, yet true when it comes to divorce settlements that includes narcissists, children are frequently used as pawns and traded to exchange for than child support or financial support.
For instance There is a lot of pressure to agree to an equal-time parenting arrangement (even even if it isn’t in the best interest of the child).
In these situations in these situations, even if you decide to’share’ or “split the children – you won’t be completely free of conflict or tension with an ex-partner who is a manipulative and narcissistic. In reality, you’ll be spending longer and more energy to deal with your ex-partner more often when you have an equal-time arrangement as opposed to if only one person is sole caregiver. How do you make this happen you might ask? Here are some scenarios to think about?
Together and in consultation, Make long-term decisions in consultation with the children narcissists. This means that you must be in contact regularly and agree with your ex regarding everything from medical treatment to the school your child will go to and where they will travel.
You live close to one another You could run into your ex-spouse, or partner in your local cafe.
Communicate at least every two weeks about children missing their clothes, homework and other concerns that relate to the raising of children.
If you are willing to split the responsibility of caring for the children or increase the time in one place or cut back on time in the hope of gaining a profit or advantage that the children are bound to be harmed. These negotiations are motivated by the fear of or desperate need to reach a settlement.
A typical scenario is when the primary caregiver accepts an equal time arrangement because they fear that, if they don’t are in agreement, their ex-partner could create financial and emotional miserable.
Conclusion
The process of negotiating a divorce settlement with a narcissists will not be simple. We are specialists in Family Lawyers, who have been able to assist and counsel many people in this scenario. It’s not necessary to tackle this on your own. We’re here for you. Contact us now for confidential consultation.
